The Stories We Live By
Exploring Inner Narratives
Have you ever noticed how sometimes… we don’t just tell a story, we become it? There are moments in life when an inner narrative takes over. It starts as a thought… then it becomes a feeling… and before we know it, we’re living through that story as if it were the absolute truth of who we are, wearing it like skin.
But if we take a moment to pause, step out, and challenge that narrative, we can ask ourselves: Where did this story come from? Who created it, and for what purpose? Is it truly mine, or did I borrow it from someone else’s voice? Does it serve me, or does it hold me back? Is it absolute… or just one version among countless possibilities?
And most importantly, how do I see the story for what it truly is, so I can finally choose the one I want to live?
The Inner Narratives That Shape Us
We all have different scripts we play:
The one we consciously or unconsciously create.
The one we inherit.
The collective ones.
The one we fall in love with.
The fantasy one.
And the secret ones we never speak of, but live by unconsciously.
The problem with narratives, and their repetition, is that they can become potent energetic forms, thought-forms, even egregores: powerful collective ideas that carry their own frequency and will.They feed on belief, emotion, and identification. When we fall into one, it’s like being pulled into a dream that isn’t ours… yet feels entirely real.
The Power of Collective Narratives
Take, for example, a collective narrative: a story of belonging to a group, ideology, or belief system that claims to hold the truth. At first, it offers comfort, meaning, and direction. But slowly, the story starts to govern rather than guide. It begins to tell you who you are, what to believe, and who to love or reject. It defines what’s good and what’s wrong, often through fear, guilt, or the promise of salvation.
This is how a cult operates. It creates such a convincing narrative that questioning it feels like betrayal, and stepping out of it feels like losing your identity.That’s the power of story: it can either liberate or imprison. The task of awareness is to recognise when the storyteller within has become the jailer.
Of course, there are also people and groups who use this power positively to help humanity. When we work together to serve an higher interest, we progress faster, through mutual support and constructive exchange. But if belonging to a group means losing our ability to decide for ourselves or our personal power and freedom, then it becomes dangerous.
But why do we like Stories so much?
Stories shape our brains. Humans are wired for narrative. Neuroscience shows that when we hear a story, our brains mirror the experiences described; our neuron’s fire as if we were living the events ourselves. Stories allow us to practice emotions, problem-solving, and empathy safely.
Stories give meaning. Life can feel chaotic and unpredictable. Stories help us organise experiences into patterns, create coherence, and make sense of the world. They offer explanations, morals, and lessons we can internalise.
Stories connect us. We are social creatures. Sharing and hearing stories strengthens bonds, builds trust, and creates a sense of belonging. They transmit culture, values, and collective memory across generations.
Stories offer escapism and exploration. Through stories, we can step into other worlds, explore different identities, or live out fantasies and fears safely. They let us experience lives we could never have firsthand.
Stories influence our identity. We don’t just enjoy stories, we use them to construct our own. The narratives we adopt, consciously or unconsciously, become the lens through which we see ourselves and our possibilities.
We all have personal Narratives…
Let me give you an example of inner narratives. Let’s imagine we have a friend named Jo, and her story goes something like this:
People always leave me. No matter how much I give, I always end up alone. People never appreciate what I do for them.
No one ever notices how much I care. People are so ungrateful, maybe I’m just not meant to be appreciated.
Now, we’re not denying Jo’s experience, she truly feels this way. Her pain is real. But the implications she’s drawn from those feelings have become absolute truths in her inner world. Her story now reinforces a sense of defeat, blame, and resignation, a narrative of being victimised, like a martyr of an unfair and heartless world.
From a neuroscience perspective, this reinforcement is not just metaphorical, it’s biological. Every time Anna recalls or enacts this story, the neural circuits associated with it, patterns of thought, emotion, and physiological response, are strengthened through Hebbian learning: neuron’s that fire together, wire together. Her brain is essentially practicing this narrative, making it more automatic and easier to access.
Additionally, the amygdala, the brain’s threat-detection center, becomes hyper-responsive to situations that fit her story. She perceives new interactions through the lens of threat or betrayal, even when objectively there is none. Meanwhile, the prefrontal cortex, responsible for rational thought and flexible thinking, is less engaged, making it harder to challenge or reinterpret these experiences.
Over time, this creates a self-fulfilling loop: the brain expects the world to behave according to her story, unconsciously scans for evidence that confirms it (confirmation bias), and reacts in ways that provoke the very outcomes she fears. Her narrative is no longer just a story, it’s a reinforced neural pathway, shaping perception, emotion, and behaviour every time she interacts with the world.
And this is how stories take root. We start to live through them rather than from our truth.
Create a Counter-Narrative
The good thing is that every story has a counter-narrative, a different perspective, another angle from which to see the same situation. When we practice shifting our viewpoint, we learn. We begin to see more. We go deeper. We step into objectivity, sovereignty, discernment, responsibility and truth.
Every story holds multiple perspectives, mirrors, and morals that can bring balance, meaning, and deeper understanding. It’s like looking at the same object from different positions, from each place, new shades, contours, and details appear that you couldn’t see before. The object hasn’t changed, you have.
For example for Anna, the counter-narrative could be:
Sometimes people leave, and sometimes they stay. Sometimes I don’t express how I truly feel, yet I wish others could understand me without needing to explain. At times, I don’t question my assumptions, and I might be wrong.
I often give more than I truly want to, hoping to feel appreciated and valued, and I feel hurt when that isn’t reciprocated.
But I also have the power to choose, to step away from relationships that don’t nourish me and to trust myself in doing so.
I can choose to be with people who can meet me where I am, who see me, hear me, and value me.
As she expands her ways to see things she can make different choices, and move on with better clarity. Reclaiming authorship and becoming the writer, not the character.
Practice Part 1: Explore your Narrative
Take a slow breath in…and a long, steady breath out. Allow your shoulders to soften. Keep breathing gently as you bring to mind a narrative that often takes over in your life or relationships.
Take a moment to curiously explore and write one inner narrative that’s been living through you. No judgment. No analysis. Just write it raw. Give it a voice.
Imagine that story as a part of you, not just an idea, but a character who truly believes it’s real. Notice how this character shows up: what does it look like, what tone does it use, what body sensations arrive when it takes up space? Where in your body does it sit, and what does it want you to do?
Now, write down the inner narrative, as if you are speaking directly from that character.
When you’re done, pause, take a breath and read it out loud. Listen to yourself as if you were listening to someone else.
Now, take a step back and reflect on:
Where did this story come from?
Who created it, when and for what purpose?
Is this story true in every situation?
Who benefits when I believe it?
Is it truly mine, or did I borrow it from someone else’s?
Does it serve me, or does it hold me back?
What else do I notice as I read it now?
Exercise Part 2: Rewriting Your Narrative
Once you’ve written your story and explored its impact, the next step is to rewrite it. This is about reclaiming authorship and stepping out of the role of the character who is controlled by the narrative. You are now the writer, the one who can choose perspective, meaning, and action.
Start by imagining your story as a draft. Here are some reflective questions to guide your rewriting:
What parts are true?
What parts are assumptions?
What parts have been exaggerated or repeated so often that they feel like absolute truths?
If I could tell this story in a way that empowers me, what would it sound like?
Who am I when I step out of this narrative?
How can I tell this story without blame or judgment?
What truths about myself have been missing from the story?
How would I describe this situation if I were being compassionate toward myself?
What choices or actions could I take that the old story didn’t allow?
How can I frame the story so it supports my growth and freedom rather than limits me?
What new perspectives or possibilities exist that I haven’t considered before?
Now, begin to rewrite the story in a way that empowers you, honours your feelings, acknowledges your responsibility, and allows for new possibilities. Write freely. Let the story shift naturally.
Notice how your body feels as you give yourself permission to tell it differently.
When you read it out loud, pay attention to any shifts, in emotion, energy, or clarity.
What do you notice happening now? What has changed?
Remember: rewriting doesn’t erase your experience. It simply allows you to hold it differently, to see it through a lens of awareness and choice.You are not bound by the old story. You are the author of your next chapter.
Are you ready to see beyond your story?
Let’s explore your inner narratives together; the ones that have been living through you and transform them into conscious authorship.
Reach out and let’s begin rewriting your next chapter.
I also offer Archetypal Exploration and Reflection of Inner Scripts, a deep, symbolic journey into the stories and patterns that live within you.
