From Cancer to Healing |The Origins of my Work

If I think about when I decided to become a therapist, I can say that in reality, I never did; it has happened as if it was inevitable.

As a child, I dreamed of becoming a soul star like Whitney Houston and being born into a family of musicians made this seem obvious to me.

At the age of 20, my father was diagnosed with terminal colon cancer.

Before this diagnosis, my father had a series of clear signs that something was wrong for about a year, but he did everything to ignore them, arriving in his final days of life with no awareness of what was happening.

My father was a very talented guitarist that unfortunately, over time, failed in his musical and professional career, as a father, husband and in other areas of life that isolated and indebted him to the bone.

The relationship with my father was a constant battle between love and hate, especially in the years that I lived with him in the hope of knowing and understanding him better.

The pain of this dysfunctional relationship, coupled with curiosity about its intricate nature, led me to investigate the origins of his cancer.

Simply the answer that we get sick because of bad luck or coincidences wasn't enough for me. I was perfectly aware of a profound misalignment between my father's real nature and his wounded self.

His pride, which I soon understood, hid an immense fear of illness and the admission of his failure as a human being led him to refuse and reject any attempt I made to help him.

I remember that when he was asleep or was not lucid, I used to secretly put my hands on the tumour in the desperate hope of healing it.

My father never told me he had cancer; he denied it to the end and chose to leave at the age of 50, full of rage and stunned by drugs; rather than ending life with dignity or care towards me, who was at his side confused and afraid.

After his death, I felt helpless, at the mercy of the events and decisions of others, at times not authorized to suffer, judged in my pain and suspended in limbo, not to mention the anger I felt towards my father, who left me to unravel all the pain alone!

From here, a thousand questions began:

Why do we get sick?

What is the true nature of our illness?

Where does the disease start from?

Why do we ignore our mental, emotional and physical health?

I started investigating my father's origins, personal history and childhood traumas, understanding his difficulties in loving, communicating and expressing his true feelings, his addictions and his fear of taking responsibility for himself and what involved him.

This tumour was a clear opportunity to change direction, review inconsistencies, heal and regain himself by bringing to light his fears and shadows that were killing him day by day.

Driven by pain and fear of ending up like my father, I embarked on a path of awareness. It took me years to process this mourning and this complex 20-year relationship with this man I have chosen as a father in this life.

This healing path was so mind-blowing that I immediately understood that I had a different sensitivity and unique emotional abilities that allowed me to go beyond the disease and understand its unconscious mechanisms.

My father was a misunderstood soul like many, who did not align with the needs of his soul. His unprocessed childhood traumas led him to build a life that did not belong to him, and his soul could take no more, so he ended his life, allowing me to find my purpose.

After 17 years, I can say that I have had a wonderful experience as a holistic therapist and counsellor and have helped many people to explore their selves with authenticity through therapies and courses.

I am grateful I have found my path and for all the wonderful humans that I have met along the way. I know it takes courage to start but is priceless how much we can change to get the life we deserve!

Image by Hands of light, by Barbara Brennan