Is Healing Ever Truly Complete?
"You are born twice in this world. The first being when you come out of your mother's womb.
The second being when you realise your self-worth."
R.M. Drake
It often happens that, despite the long and deep work we’ve done on our emotional wounds, they reopen or reactivate… why?
Healing is often defined as “restoring the self to natural wholeness,” to our innermost core, but what does that truly mean?
What I’ve observed in my own life is just how challenging it can be to maintain inner equilibrium in an environment that is constantly changing. Both external and internal conditions are in perpetual motion. In a reality made of polarities and opposing forces that seem to clash over even the smallest things, how do we remain whole? How do we find balance in a world where there are no certainties, and where things can change in an instant, often beyond our control?
My reflection is this: it is possible to find balance in relation to a specific dynamic, but that state of balance is not necessarily permanent but rather dynamic. Sometimes, the same “fracture” reappears, not because we’ve failed to heal, but because it carries a new layer of insight, a different lesson embedded within a familiar wound o to test if the change that we long for is real.
We may find ourselves stuck wondering, What have I done this time to deserve this? But the answer is often: nothing.
Life is not about deserving or being punished. Life is about doing what you can with what you have. It’s about remaining whole through discomfort, not fragmenting into doubt, but facing what is.
Every lived experience cannot be seen from a single point of view. There are many degrees and levels of understanding and integration that align with our current stage of growth or adaptation, stages that shift from moment to moment, from person to person.
This is why, especially when it comes to trauma, healing often follows a spiral, not a straight line. These circular movements invite us to revisit what was once fragmented within us from new angles, deepening our understanding of the purpose behind the experience, and helping us integrate it with greater awareness, compassion, and understanding at different stages of life.
Dysfunctional patterns may not cease to exist or show up in our lives, but the way we face, process, and are impacted by them can change radically.
After years of therapy, here’s a vital truth I’ve come to understand: the purpose of healing is not to erase what has happened to us. We cannot undo the past, nor should we try. True healing lies in reclaiming space within ourselves, so that the painful experience no longer defines the whole of who we are. It's about reducing the emotional weight that memory carries, allowing it to coexist with other parts of us that we may have left behind. It’s about restoring inner balance, where pain no longer dominates our daily life, and there is room for all our expressions, all our truths. We don’t heal by forgetting; we heal by allowing inner parts to communicate and find harmony. It’s easy to focus on what creates separation, but when we begin to seek what unites and harmonies us, we create the possibility of experiencing true integrity.
What once brought pain can become fuel, an inner fire that drives us to seek truth, meaning, and connection.
Place your authentic self in the center of your life and breathe… healing, is not a destination but an unfolding loving relationship with yourself. It is a journey of remembering and reuniting with self, a deep act of love, a commitment to return to care and listen.
And maybe, just maybe, those wounds don’t reopen to punish us or to suggest we’ve failed. Maybe they open so we can meet them differently this time. With softer eyes. With wiser hands. With more love than before.
